Don't Leave Me Like This
by connectedanon
Summary: Future fic/ AU. Quinn makes a trip and reminisces about her past heartache. When she runs into a chance to fix it, she must decide whether or not she should move on.


**A/N:** Some of you may recognize this as the beginning of "You're All I Wanted," (if you've read that) which has since been deleted, because I wasn't pleased with how it was unravelling. For months, I've been toying with the idea of just rewriting it all, or just cutting back, and I've settled on tweaking it a bit, and re-posting it as the angsty-as-fuck one-shot that it was when I had originally posted it on LJ a year ago.

To all of those who were waiting on an update for YAIW: sorry. To those who haven't read that, well, read along.

**A/N 2:** You all should know by now how I am with Taylor Swift's music, so it should come as no surprise that the title line, as well as some of the plot inspiration, came from her song "Haunted" (Acoustic Version) -it's vital that you listen to this version, as opposed to the original... because of reasons.

* * *

Quinn walks briskly towards the stairs that lead her to the subway station on Parsons Boulevard in Queens, NY and swipes her MetroCard. As she waits patiently for the F-train to stop, she clutches her bag closer towards her body and looks around her, even though she knows that nothing would really happen to her, it is New York after all, and she's always a bit on the paranoid side.

As she surveys her surroundings she's assaulted by the posters of a familiar face. Turning her head to avoid having them in her line of vision, she notices a teenager with a can of Ironlak clutched in his fist spraying some sort of statement on the grimy tile.

"_The past is not a package one can lay away_" is what he writes before stepping back, staring at his handiwork, and calmly walking away.

"Emily Dickinson." She mumbles to herself as she recalls the quote from a paper that she had written on the poet for one of her advanced English courses in college.

She stares at the words, whose ink begins to run slightly as it dries, contemplating how they relate to her own life. The screeching of a train with the orange F noisily snaps her out of her mind's reeling thoughts and she quickly makes her way inside, sitting on a seat off by the side, and turns her head to look back at the words as the doors close and the train makes its way to the next stop. She finds herself to be just a tad bit glad that she doesn't have to worry about missing her stop seeing as her destination is the last one.

A ten minute ride later, the doors open and the conductor announces "Last stop, Coney Island," and she walks through the station with a smile plastered on her face. When she had visited, she loved taking trips to the beach whenever the weather was decent enough, and those memories never fail to brighten her mood.

It's still early Spring, so the amusement park is closed for the season, as are most of the stores on the boardwalk, so it's relatively deserted, which is perfectly fine for her. She's not really here for amusement.

She walks in the direction of Nathan's Famous and quickens her pace as she spots the bright green logo, giddy at the prospect of eating one of their hot dogs, which she loves. She orders a chili cheese dog and a side of their famous crinkle-cut fries with a medium coke and she can't help but reminisce about the last time she had been there.

* * *

_"Quinn, I refuse to eat something that once had a face. Do you even know what is inside a hot dog? They take the par-"_

_"Rach, don't you dare ruin hot dogs for me. I'm serious. I'll never forgive you if you did."_

_"I'm simply trying to tell you that it is..."_

_"No, I don't wanna hear it. And you're going to try this whether you want to or not."_

_"But you know that I'm..."_

_"Rachel Barbra Berry do you even THINK about using veganism as an excuse because I know for a fact that you cheat whenever one of your fathers makes their chicken noodle soup, and I know how much you absolutely love it."_

_Rachel huffed and Quinn knew that she had won. She reached for the hot dog and placed it in front of Rachel who refused to look down at it._

_"Come on, Rach. A bet is a bet, and you should honor that."_

_"That's not fair, Quinn! You know I don't like rollercoasters."_

_"Oh, come on! The Cyclone isn't even that scary! It's either the hot dog or the Cyclone. Take your pick."_

_Rachel tentatively reached for the hot dog and slowly moved it closer to her mouth._

_"Just one bite, baby. That's all."_

_She took a bite and her face scrunched up as she chewed quickly so as not to prolong the moment. She swallowed thickly and reached for her lemonade, taking big gulps._

_"So?"_

_"It... I, uhm. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."_

_"Does that mean that you liked it?" Quinn lips quirked into a smile as she watched Rachel stare at the remaining portion._

_"I... I did."_

_"YES! See, I told you you'd like it!" Quinn leaned forward and kissed her lips chastely before going to order herself another hot dog. She had a feeling Rachel wasn't done with the other one._

* * *

After paying and grabbing her food, she walks across the wooden planks of the boardwalk towards the sandy beach. Placing her food down, carefully, she pulls out a small blanket from the bag that she had been carrying and lays it down close to the shore and happily eats her food as she watches the soft waves crash along the edge of the ocean.

She had never really liked the beach when it came down to swimming, but she always admires the view. Watching the rising and falling of the foamy water, and hearing the euphonious sounds that it causes, make her feel so at peace and alone with her own thoughts because it allows her to freely tune out the outer world and just be. Since she doesn't always have the free time to visit often she takes advantage of the days on which she can make the trip over and allow her mind to wander, with no topic off limits.

Whenever she allows that to happen though, her mind always slips back to one topic in particular: Rachel Berry.

It had been a little less than two years since Quinn had last seen her face. Well, in person that is, considering that Rachel is basically plastered across the streets in glossy posters advertising her latest endeavor, thus making it hard for Quinn not to see her everywhere she went.

She secretly longed for the day in which their paths would cross again, but she didn't put much faith in that happening for her.

The two had ended their four year relationship so suddenly, and without warning that Quinn didn't know if her heart could handle such an encounter.

It was Rachel's fault that things had fallen apart but Quinn had desperately wished that she hadn't been there the night that it all ended, that way she might've never seen what she did and things wouldn't have blown up the way they did.

* * *

_"Quinn! Get back here and talk to me!" Rachel pleaded as she raced after Quinn._

_"No, Rachel. I can't do this anymore."_

_"What are you even talking about?"_

_"I saw you! Don't even try to deny it! I saw the way you watched her. You had this intense look in your eyes and you... you-"_

_"I what, Quinn? Would you stop walking so fast and tell me what the hell it was that I did that got you so riled up?"_

_Quinn didn't pay attention to her as she continued walking rapidly, slamming her feet along the concrete pavement in her frustration._

_"QUINN! Fucking speak to me, damn it!"_

_The words tumbled out of Rachel's lips so gratingly that it caused Quinn to whirl around furiously and stare at Rachel, who was panting in her efforts of keeping up._

_"You really want to know what it was that you did, Rachel?"_

_"No, I've just been chasing after you like a mad woman for sport. What the fuck kind of a question is that, Quinn? Of course I want to know what it was that sent you running off like that."_

_"You did the thing."_

_"Am I supposed to know what "the thing" is, Quinn?"_

_"That thing, you know. When you move your hand towards your mouth and drag your finger across your lower lip. That thing."_

_"And?" Rachel had no idea how such a simple movement could elicit such a reaction in her girlfriend and she swirled her hand in the air in a gesture asking for clarification._

_"I know you, Rachel. And I know that you've only ever done that when you look at me."_

_"Oh, so now I can't touch my mouth or else it means I want to get in someone else's pants?"_

_"It's not that, Rach! It's how you did it. The way it was so delicate, and deliberate, and fucking sensual. You want her, just admit it."_

_"Quinn..."_

_"Fucking admit it, Rach! You know I'm right! And I know that this isn't the first time you've done that in her presence."_

_Rachel's face fell at the accusation._

_"Wh-what are you talking about?"_

_"You know, whenever you're in the room, my eyes are always on you. I love you so damn much and, and the way your face lights up when you talk about the things you love, or when you meet someone new and your energy is all over the place, but whenever she's around you're different. Your eyes are more intense, your jaw tightens in the same way that it does when you're in one of your dominant moods. Like you want to devour whatever it is that's in front of you. So, when you touched your lips, while staring at her with that same look in your eyes..."_

_A sob escaped Quinn's lips as she looked up at Rachel, her own eyes glazing with tears that were threatening to spill over._

_"What was I supposed to think, Rach?"_

_She looked over at the shorter woman, waiting for her to deny it, to tell her that nothing was happening, that she loved her and only her._

_"Quinn, I..."_

_"Y-you... You can't deny it, you can't tell me that I'm wrong, can you?" Quinn asked as she silently begged that Rachel wouldn't break her._

_"At least tell me that nothing happened between you and her. Please, just tell me that." She already knew how this was going to end, but she needed to know if Rachel would admit to it._

_When Rachel didn't answer her, at least not with words, Quinn turned before Rachel got a chance to see the tears fall as her heart crumpled within her as she made her way to their apartment to pack her things._

* * *

Quinn doesn't realize she's crying until she feels the dampness dripping onto her hand, and she hurriedly dabs a rough napkin at her wet eyes and gathers her items, ready to make her way back home.

On her way over to the booth at the subway station to refill her MetroCard she spotsRachel's face on at least three different magazine covers, and her heart feels as if it's caving in her chest, but she just closes her eyes, sucks in a breath and pushes past the feeling before spinning around to swipe her card, when, suddenly, she collides against something and is sent stumbling to the ground.

"Oh, goodness. I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was goi-"

"No, no. It's fine, I should've been looking ahead."

Two voices begin spewing off their apologies, but Quinn's head snaps up as she hears the other person's voice. She knows that voice, almost better than her own.

"Ra-rachel?" Quinn can hardly believe her eyes as the smaller woman takes off the dark sunglasses she had been wearing. She takes in Rachel's casual appearance: simple jeans, an over-sized hoodie with Yale screen-printed on it, converse sneakers and a baseball cap with the Yankees logo on it.

"Quinn..." Rachel whispers, shocked as much as (if not more than) Quinn is.

"I, uh, what, what are you doing here?"

"I was actually on my way to get a hot dog. I've been having such a craving for it, but my assistant wouldn't let me come down and get one so I had no choice but to disguise myself and escape for the day." She shrugs lamely as she tucks her glasses into her bag.

"Ah, yes. Disguise. I think that becomes tricky when your face is everywhere" Quinn attempts to joke as she points at the magazines at the nearby kiosk, then at the posters that are beginning to peel off of the walls.

Rachel fails to react and Quinn averts her gaze to the ground, unsure of what's to happen next.

"So... Hot dogs, you say," seems like a neutral enough way for Quinn to break the tense silence, she thinks.

"Uhm, yeah. Sometimes I just feel the urge to eat one. I haven't eaten one since..." She trails of, bringing her palm up and rubbing at the back of her neck as silence fills the air once again.

Quinn knows where that story's going, and seeing as she had just re-lived it herself, she has no intention of going back. At least, not until her next trip to the beach.

"What are you doing around here, though?"

"Oh, uh. Hot dog." Quinn answers without looking up at Rachel. She's pretty sure that Rachel is now probably wondering whether or not she had been thinking about the significance of the day.

If they hadn't broken up, it would have been their six year anniversary.

Quinn had always imagined that they'd be married by now, living in a comfortable apartment with the rest of their lives to look forward to. She had known then that Rachel was who she was meant to be with, but it was apparent that Rachel felt as if she still needed to look at her options, so to speak.

The thought of what their lives could have been like makes Quinn's heart clench and she tries not to think about it as she looks up at Rachel.

"Well, seeing as you just came from where I'm headed, how about we go grab some coffee somewhere? You know, to catch up." It's evident that Rachel was steeling herself in preparation for rejection by the way her smile threatens to split her face when Quinn nods once, then twice as she says, "yeah, that'd be... nice."

They catch a train out to 42nd St and Bryant Park. Apparently, that's where Rachel had discovered New York's best coffee, which was made at a small restaurant that was hard to find if you didn't know what you were looking for.

"I found this place one day when I was hiding from Meredith, that's my assistant. She was going on and on about press interviews, rumors and the usual and I just got so fed up with it and walked out while she continued talking."

"Rumors, eh," Quinn teases, indifference in her voice, but curiosity taking over.

"Yeah, they were of the having-an-affair-with-a-married-costar variety," Rachel prattles on, and Quinn's unsure whether it would be wise for her to ask if it was true or if she could get away with cracking a joke. Instead, she settles for simply nodding in understanding.

"So, anyone special in your life, Quinn?" Rachel asks after a moment of comfortable silence.

"Uhm, no. No one. There have been a few, but no one has ever really stuck around. What about you? Or are you only together with people that the press assume you're with?" At that, Rachel chuckles and shakes her head.

"No, no. Nobody at all, and no one has ever come close to compar... I mean, I've just been too busy what with my shows and rehearsals and whatnot." The slip-up doesn't go unnoticed by Quinn, who opts to just sip at her latte so as not to bring attention to what Rachel had just implied.

They sit at the small restaurant and chat about their lives until the manager informs them that it's close to closing time.

"Oh, goodness. I hope you didn't have anywhere important to be. I didn't mean to keep you out so late." Rachel apologizes as she grabs her bag and she and Quinn walk out of the restaurant.

They stop once they reach the middle of the sidewalk, unsure of whether they should hug and part ways, exchange numbers, or... "Uhm, I actually live a few blocks away, if you wanted to drop by and we could, uh, watch a movie or something." Rachel offers nervously.

She had thought about Quinn almost daily since their break-up and she'd missed her. She didn't want to just have her leave without knowing what could happen.

"Uh, ok. Sure."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not? I mean, I don't have anywhere else to be and I'm already here." Quinn tries to hide her smile as she walks alongside Rachel, staying close to her side, but never really touching her while they walk the next few blocks in a comfortable silence, which is broken when Rachel stops and motions to a door on her left.

"Well, this is it." Walking up the steps to the townhouse she fishes out her keys and unlocks the door, stepping aside to usher Quinn inside.

"It's nice and... spacious." Quinn notes, taking in the high ceilings and calculated amount of furniture.

"Yeah, sometimes it makes me feel so small."

Quinn huffs a laugh and Rachel looks at her incredulously.

"Well, you are small, Rach." Rachel's smile starts out small as she allows the comment to sink in. All night long Quinn had avoided using her name at all. Her smile then broke out into a blinding grin at the nick name. Nobody but her fathers and Quinn (and Finn every once in a while, but that didn't really count) ever called her that.

"What?" Quinn watches, slightly amused, as the series of progressive smiles that flash across Rachel's face.

"It's just that no one has called me that in years."

And just like that, they dip back into their natural groove.

They both settle on the couch with a reasonable distance in between them as Rachel allows Quinn the privilege of deciding what to watch. She flicks through the channels until it lands on_ How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days._

"I love this movie." Quinn says excitedly as she gets more comfortable on the couch.

An hour or so into the movie the distance had become increasingly smaller and neither of them questioned it.

_"No, I didn't Ben. Because you can't lose something you never had!"_

Both women sit in silence as they watch Andie stalk off while Ben just watches her go, until Quinn shouts out, "Gah! He should have chased her! Everyone knows that when she runs off, you're supposed to chase her down and apologize. That's how cheesy movies work, right? If he just went after her and explained..."

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispers so softly that Quinn almost misses it.

"For what?" Quinn asks, wondering what had sparked the apology.

"For not chasing you. For doing what I did. For letting you get away."

"Rach, I didn't mean..."

"I know, but I'm still sorry. You were so perfect to me and I let some stupid insecurity get to me and completely fucked everything up." Rachel's eyes brim with moisture as she looks into Quinn's eyes. "I never should have done that to you, Quinn. You didn't deserve it." With that she buries her face in her hands and attempts to control her sobs.

"Shh.. It's ok, Rach. It's ok." Quinn whispered into her hair as she holds Rachel while rubbing soothing circles along her spine. She knows that it always calms her down, and slowly the smaller woman's body stops trembling.

Quinn watches as Rachel's head lifted and moved to face her, and Rachel's eyes seem to stare into her soul, and before she knows it Rachel's lips are pressing against hers. It's a light pressure at first, easy and gentle, and then Quinn's hands shift to cup Rachel's wet face as she softly caresses her cheeks, pushing the tears aside.

At the sign of not being rejected, Rachel tilts her head slightly and deepens the kiss, parting her lips slightly, until she packs up the courage to slide her tongue across Quinn's lower lip, asking for permission.

When Quinn releases a breathy sigh and parts her lips further, Rachel slips her tongue in slowly, shivering as it collides with the firm, warm muscle within Quinn's own mouth, probing at it, swirling against it, until Quinn sucks lightly on Rachel's tongue and feels her responsive moan vibrate through her body and Quinn can feel the dampness begin to settle against the fabric of her panties.

She pushes at Rachel's shoulders, gently moving her to lay on her back, never breaking the kiss. As Rachel's head lands on the cushion, she parts her legs, allowing Quinn to straddle one of her thighs and Quinn's hips shift between her own, a distinct pressure causing Rachel's hips to buck. In turn, Quinn groans as Rachel's toned thigh pushes up.

Quinn begins to trail kisses along Rachel's jaw as she makes her way toward her ear and suckles on a sensitive patch of skin before moving lower as Rachel's hands fly to Quinn's hips, gripping tightly.

"Fuck." Rachel hisses as Quinn bites sharply on her collarbone and then proceeds to lick along the bone before biting down, once again.

Quinn's hips continue grinding down into Rachel, and Rachel's hips pitch upwards to meet her jean clad thigh every time as she grunts at the contact. "Quinn... I, I need you."

As soon as Rachel says them, Quinn thinks back to a time when she had said those same words to Rachel...

* * *

_They had all gone out to dinner to celebrate a cast mate's birthday and Rachel had requested that Quinn tag along._

_The night was going well and Rachel had even managed to convince the staff to bring out a small dessert with a candle on it as the cast sang "Happy Birthday" to the birthday girl._

_Rachel's eyes had been trained on the woman who sat in front of the lit chocolate cake, whose face was buried in her hands in slight embarrassment, while she failed to notice that Quinn's own eyes were trained on her._

_Quinn smiled softly, seeing a look of adoration on Rachel's face. She had know that the diva and Gabriella, the woman of the hour, were close friends on set and she loved how her face lit up when she was in the company of her entire cast. After all, they were her second family._

_Her smile quickly faded as she noticed twinkle the shorter woman's eyes shift. It was no longer a look of adoration, but one nothing short of lust._

_Quinn's attention was captured by the scene unfolding before her very eyes that her hands remained at her sides while the crowd around her cheered and applauded after Gabriella had blown out her candles._

_She chanced a look at the brunette at the head of the table. Her hands had just pushed back her bangs that had fallen across her eyes._

_Those eyes soon connected with another pair in the room and Quinn didn't need to shift her gaze to know that they were Rachel's._

_She shut her own eyes briefly before opening them and spotting the diva as her hand trailed along her lower lip, her eyes still set on Gabriella's, before she lightly cleared her throat and diverted her attention to Quinn._

_As Quinn looked at her, a fake smile crept up into her features before she finished off the Long Island iced tea that she held in her hand._

_Two hours later, after they went to a dance club for a while to further celebrate, they stumbled through the door or their apartment in a fit of laughter while their arms were tangled as they held each other up._

_Clearly, the drinks had gotten to them. Though, not to the point where they were outright drunk, rather merely giddy._

_As they pushed their way inside, Quinn kicked the door closed before wrapping her hands around Rachel's neck and crashing her lips upon hers in a bruising kiss._

_It wasn't controlled, but not quite sloppy. Rachel had sensed that here was a level of some emotion forcing its way out through it but she couldn't quite pinpoint it, so she had let it slide._

_Rachel pulled her mouth away as she sucked in as much air to fill her lungs as possible. Her eyes flitted up to meet Quinn's stormy gaze and she watched in awe as a series of emotions flashed across her structured features, never lasting more than a second before shifting into a cold facade._

_"Quinn..." She whispered it with a slight tremble in her voice, her brows knitting together slightly in their confusion as it hit her._

_The blonde had been feeling hurt, pained, betrayal, and most of all, desperation._

_She had wanted to ask the blonde what was running through her mind, but before she had a chance to voice any other thoughts, Quinn's fingers began to make quick work of her pale, pink dress._

_Quinn began to kiss along her jaw and neck, all licks and nips and, soon enough, Rachel forgot what she was going to say._

_She heard the zipper being pulled down, followed by the light thud that signaled that her dress had pooled at her ankles._

_Gingerly, she stepped out of it and brought her hands up to remove the fabric that clung to the blonde's body._

_"I- I need you, Rach." Quinn knew that it sounded as if it were purely of a sexual nature, but she couldn't dare bring herself to admit that it meant more than that. To her, it meant everything. She clamped her eyes shut as she thought about life without Rachel around._

_By instinct, Rachel stopped her motions and brought her hands up to cup the blonde's face before lightly kissing her._

_"I need you, too, baby."_

_Quinn shook her head lightly, her hair cascading across her shoulders and falling into her face. She could tell that the double meaning of her statement was lost of Rachel, and was unsure whether to be content that it had slipped by unnoticed, or heartbroken that Rachel couldn't see through her as she always had._

_Instead of dwelling on it, she pushed her dress down her hips and began to walk the shorter girl backwards towards their room._

_Once the backs of Rachel's knees hit the mattress, Quinn wasted no time in nudging her a little further until her back landed on the soft surface._

_Rachel scooted backwards, her hand never leaving the back of Quinn's neck, as the blonde crawled over her delicately._

_She settled herself over the small body, her weight being supported by her left forearm which was nestled next to Rachel's head, her hand tangling in her brown waves._

_Quinn's right hand began to trail a light path up Rachel's thigh, tickling every inch of skin as it made its way up to her neck, circling patterns along the flesh as her intense gaze bore into Rachel's eyes._

_She had tried to communicate her need through the stare, but when Rachel tilted her head a fraction of an inch to the side Quinn knew that, once again, the diva had failed to interpret her message._

_She leaned forward, suckling Rachel's lower lip between her own, as her hand roamed the body beneath her while her hips straddled one of Rachel's thighs, shifting every couple of seconds._

_Rachel whimpered in need as moments passed with nothing too intense happening. She shifted her hips in an attempt to get her point across, and sighed as she felt slender fingers drift past her navel and down to where she needed them most._

_She navigated through the wetness, and easily slid her ring and middle fingers into the diva. Her strokes were long and gentle as Rachel canted her hips in search of friction._

_"M-more, Quinn." She whined, desperate for a release._

_Quinn buried her face in the crook of Rachel's neck, her breath landing on the skin in small pants and gasps as her hips ground down on Rachel's toned thigh._

_"Tell me, fuck... Tell me you're mine."_

_"Wha-"_

_"Just tell me, Rach." She needed to hear it. She needed to know that she still had her._

_"I, I'm yours, Quinn. I'm yours."_

_"Mine." She all but growled before sinking her teeth into the flesh between Rachel's neck and shoulder, causing her to hiss._

_"Yours. Yours. All yours." Rachel chanted, her hips moving erratically to punctuate her words._

_Quinn's fingers picked up their pace to the point where they were relentless, her forearm burning fiercely but never stopping._

_Without warning, she slipped in another finger as her thumb caused a delicious pressure to build around Rachel's clit._

_Rachel soon felt the heat pooling low in her abdomen and, within seconds, she toppled over the edge as Quinn glided her hips frantically seeking her own orgasm, reaching it half a minute later._

_Their bodies tensed and shuddered before slackening as the sounds of their breaths filled the air._

_"Rach, I **need** you." It was a broken sound, and if it weren't for the fact that they were said directly next to her ear, Rachel might have missed the hushed confession._

* * *

Rachel has probably forgotten about that night, but Quinn certainly hasn't. She pushes the memory from her mind and just bites at the skin of Rachel's neck, delicately licking and nipping along the column of her throat as if it were the most delicate instrument known to mankind.

In Quinn's opinion, it is.

She snakes her hand between their bodies and tugs at the button of Rachel's jeans. After a few unsuccessful attempts Rachel gets antsy and huffs out, "here. Let me..."

Quinn stands and quickly makes work of her own jeans as Rachel shimmies out of hers and removes her hoodie and top, leaving her in black, cotton underwear and no bra. As soon as Quinn catches sight of her bare breasts her breath hitches as her eyes widen.

"You know how bras make me feel restricted and claustrophobic," Rachel shrugs as an explanation and lays back down, tugging Quinn back on top of her and resuming their previous positions.

Quinn wastes no time in attaching her mouth to a dusky nipple, sucking tenderly as her tongue alternates between swirling around the stiffened bud and flicking at it rapidly as Rachel arches into her mouth. She bites down gently and Rachel hisses above her.

One of Quinn's hands moves to brace itself on the cushion next to Rachel's head as the other trails down the valley of her breasts, scrapes along Rachel's rib cage, dips inside her navel for a moment, and finally treks its way under the elastic waistband of her panties, tugging them down to her thighs.

Slender fingers explore as if recommitting Rachel to memory, and circling her clit with firm pressure. Rachel's hips cant upwards at the contact, desperate for more friction which Quinn easily gives, running the pads of her fingers lower, lower, and lower still until Rachel's eyes shoot to hers and then screw shut as she nods, and Quinn slides two fingers into her. The pace set is nothing more than long, gentle strokes moving at an even rhythm.

"F-faster, Quinn. Harder."

Quinn happily obliges and increases the speed and pressure of her thrusts, curling her fingers as they withdraw, sending Rachel keening and writhing below her frantically. With every thrust of her fingers, Quinn uses more force, attempting to convey all the pain and hurt that she had felt when Rachel had tore her heart apart.

She wants to express all of the anger that she felt towards the other woman, all of the rage that she had felt when Rachel had confirmed her suspicions, the ache that it caused within her heart, and the anguish which she had suffered with for the past two years without Rachel.

The force of her fingers becomes too much and Rachel cries out when Quinn roughly adds a third finger without warning.

"Quinn! You're hurting me, Quinn!"

Rachel's words go unheard by Quinn, who seems to only pick up her pace, deftly moving her thumb to apply pressure on Rachel's clit, her own hips grinding roughly against the soft skin of Rachel's thigh.

The muscles in her forearm begin to burn and her eyes begin to burn at the memory of that night, and of all the nights afterwards when she felt too broken as a result of Rachel's actions. Her tears splash along Rachel's neck, and Rachel can feel her own sliding hotly down her face.

As Quinn's hand angles and hits an over-sensitive patch of skin, Rachel cries out as her body tenses underneath Quinn, whose hips continue rocking upward against her until her own body shakes and trembles before she buries her face in the crook of Rachel's neck as she cries.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Quinn whispers.

Rachel's at a loss for words, so she simply holds Quinn, hoping that her touch would soothe her. Eventually, Quinn lifts her head and locks her eyes onto Rachel's.

"You hurt me." She spits out viciously.

"Wha-"

"You completely fucked me over and you couldn't even tell me to my face." Realization washes over Rachel. Quinn was delving into their past, and her emotions had spilled into their moment of passion, causing Quinn to act the way she did.

Quinn swiftly removes herself from Rachel's embrace and begis to hastily put her clothes on while Rachel scrambles to halt her movements, but her hands are only pushed aside by Quinn's own.

"No, Rachel. Don't... just don't touch me."

"But..."

"I thought I could do this. I thought that I could forgive you, but you broke me, Rachel. So badly that I don't think I can be fixed."

"Quinn, I'm sor-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me you're sorry. That doesn't mean shit," she hisses out.

"But- but," she trails off before lowering her gaze and murmuring, " I love you Quinn."

"You don't get to love me anymore. You had that chance and you fucked it up for yourself. I meant it every single time I ever said that to you, but it's obvious that you didn't. You've lost the right to say that to me and I don't think you'll get it back. Not now, not ever."

Rachel visibly recoils at that, and stares as Quinn hurriedly throws her clothes back on and struggles with her shoes.

"For the past two years, all I've done was think about what I did to make you do that to me. How I could have done something differently so you would have stayed, instead of going off and fucking some- some nobody and then coming home to me, pretending that nothing was wrong. But you know what? I'm done with that. I'm sick of being haunted by what you did."

"Quinn-"

"I just thought that," Quinn continues, her shoulders sagging. "I thought that if I could have another moment with you that maybe, just maybe, all the pain would go away. But it won't. You hurt me too deeply. You fucking ripped my heart out of my chest and threw it on the ground!"

Her body is trembling as sobs wrack her body and Rachel pulls her hoodie over her head and walks towards her cautiously.

"Quinn?"

"Don't you get it, Rachel? I can't. I just can't," she whines pathetically.

"Why not?"

"How do I know you won't hurt me again? How can I trust you after what you did?"

"I..."

"Goodbye, Rachel." With that, Quinn moves towards the door.

She never thought she'd get the opportunity to see Rachel again, but now that she has, her heart aches even more than it did every day for the past two years.

It's one thing to hope that Rachel would cross her path and they could see if what they had was real. It's another thing entirely to face the harsh reality of the situation and be heartbroken all over again. But Quinn can't bear the inevitable struggle of attempting to trust Rachel again.

She's too fragile and vulnerable, and Rachel had missed her shot.

Rachel watches as Quinn walks out of her apartment, as well as her life, and she buries her face in her hands, crying as she thinks of how she's managed to lose Quinn. Yet again.

Making her way toward the nearest subway station Quinn thinks of the words that were spray painted on the wall earlier in the day and thinks "_Fuck that. From now on, my past is most definitely a package that I intend on tucking away forever_."


End file.
